The Pathological Personality

In medicine we know the basic personality of specialists.  Pediatricians, warm and fuzzy.  Orthopedists, “strong as an ox, and twice as smart!”  Surgeons, cut it out and ask questions later.  And pathologists, just a little removed.

So here’s the story.  My stepdaughter Sara has a cat, Blinky, also known as The Blinkster, now up to 14 years of age.  An indoor cat, and never one to turn down a meal, so, rotund.  But lovable.

Unfortunately, ironically given his name, Sara noticed a couple of months ago that Blinky couldn’t blink his left eye.  We took him in to a cat ophthalmologist who diagnosed a condition called Feline Restrictive Orbital Myelofibroblastic Sarcoma (FROMS).  The tissues behind the eye get invaded and the eye can’t move and the lid can’t close, which leads to erosion of the cornea, pain, and then blindness.  Poor Blinky had to have that eye removed.  It was sent off for examination to the cat pathologist who is the best expert on this condition, in Minnesota.  That’s what he does for a living, examine cat eye specimens. 

Sara took it well.  She knew that the other eye would likely become involved and Blinky had been with her a long time, but she did what people do in this situation, take it one day at a time and appreciate the time you have.  Still, thinking ahead, she thought that when the other eye did become involved, rather than have a blind old cat in failing health, she thought that euthanasia would be the best course.

Then, two weeks ago, Sara thought Blinky was having trouble moving his right eye, just as had happened with the left.  So she took him into the vet.  Maybe so, said the vet.  But not too bad yet.

So, being a medical professional herself, Sara figured she would call the pathologist in Minnesota, since he is the expert.  She got him on the phone, and he said that it sounded like progression, and actually he was surprised it hadn’t happened a little faster.  It was sad.  Sara, who had been holding it together pretty well, teared up as she discussed with him whether to euthanize or not.

The pathologist heard her tearing up.  His voice softened a little, and Sara could tell he was affected.  She listened attentively then, as he talked to her.  He said slowly, “Well, if you do decide to go and euthanize him, could you send me the head?”

Budd Shenkin

But Would You Want To Do It?

It’s legal to park your money in a Swiss bank account –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

It’s legal to open a company in Bermuda to avoid US taxes –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

It’s legal to park your money in the Cayman Island to avoid US taxes –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

It’s legal to take your salary from Bain Capital as “carried interest” and pay a 15% tax rate –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

It’s legal to take capital losses in 2009 and erase all your tax obligations –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

It’s legal to buy your wife a $100,000 horse and deduct it from your taxes –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

It’s legal to declare that you have “retired retroactively” and keep your salary for those years –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT?

And it’s legal to vote for a tax avoider and vulture capitalist for President –

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT???

Budd Shenkin

Business School Ethics

I was sitting next to Larry, an acquaintance of mine at the Goldman School of Public Policy at UC Berkeley.  He is also a professor at the Haas School of Business.  I forget what the issue was, but I said, “Hey, that’s not the right thing to do!”

Larry said, “Well, it’s legal.”  He meant that it was OK to do it because it was legal.

There it is, right there.  Business School Ethics.

Remember all the Harvard Business School guys at Enron?  They thought that most of what they were doing was OK to do because it was legal.  Well, they were certainly wrong on the first count, and it seems they were wrong on the second as well.  Locked up, Skilling is at least.  Many of the others got away.

After their downfall you would think the B-School would have been embarrassed.  If they were, I didn’t hear about it.  As a doctor, I thought, they need a Hippocratic Oath of some sort.  I saw some discussion of that in the press but it seemed to peter out.  I can see why.  After all, an oath to be ethical would be very controversial at a school of business.

This is precisely Mitt Romney’s problem.  He is part and parcel of the whole ethic of business.  Trying to win allegiance from rednecks he says, “I have some friends who own NASCAR racers.”  Right, Mitt, you’re right in there.  “Corporations are people, too, my friend.”  It’s so deep you can’t erase it.  It’s just who he is.

So, I hope this business with his wealth and tax-avoidance and off-shoring his money goes on and on.  His defense is so pathetic – “It’s legal.”  These laws were passed (and paid for) by guys like him, so of course it’s legal.  If he pays less than 15% of his income to taxes – “It’s legal!”  Great, Mitt, what an ear you have.  It’s not tin, it might be aluminum.

At last the Dems and the press are getting onto an issue that should stick.  It is so emblematic of who he is. 

People left out at the bottom?  “That’s the nature of capitalism.” 

Poorer people not being able to find health care?  “They should have thought about that when they were in school.” 

Demo a $3 million house and erect a $10 million one with a 12 car garage with an elevator?  “Well, I can afford it and I have a big family.”

Thanks, Mitt, you’re a real prince.

What have we come to, when he is more acceptable than the other Republican candidates were?

Jesus.

Budd Shenkin